Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
