this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Randomize
