Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Can you bring me the toilet please
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
