so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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