he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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