guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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