i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
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