Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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