I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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