I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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