is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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