We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
