i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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