things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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