My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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