Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
he shaved USA in his pubs
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
It's rum buckets o'clock
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
