if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
