everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
