I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
