she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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