Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
