proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
