Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
