Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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