Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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