I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
