Just mADE A PArabola og urine
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
