Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
