There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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