You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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