I cannot find my penis.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Never underestimate the power of titties
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
