I think i sorta joined a cult last night
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He felt like a one man threesome
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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