I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
