Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
