Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
