I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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