i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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