Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
