i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
