The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
