So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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