So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
you told grandpa to call you daddy
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Sext me about skeletons
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
