We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
