Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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