If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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