I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
