We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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