bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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