Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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