THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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