there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
