I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Randomize
